We Should Have Known

It's official, tsunami aid is the hippest cause since saving the anorexic vegetarian HIV positive whales. Now, when you scratch the forehead of Hollywood luminaries, you will no longer be able to see through to the other side. Instead, you will see images of benefits, including some awesome opportunities to wear outfits that cost more than the gross national product of several of the countries affected. No need for humble, anonymous giving here, everyone has a chance for their 15 seconds of fame. In the spirit of giving, I have some humble suggestions for the notable and notorious:

-Oprah could give everyone a car, with a set of Dr. Phil tapes in the glove box
-The women from Sex and the City could collect several boxes of Manolo Blahnik shoes and purses to send (after all, even the homeless need to accessorize)
-Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie should shoot their next episode of "The Simple Life" in Sri Lanka (maybe they've already beaten me to that idea, they are so sensitive!)
-Brittney Spears could marry each of the male refugees for 72 hours, with a healthy prenup of course
-Latrell Spreewell can't really spare the time, he's got a family to feed, you know
-Ron Artest could produce a CD of his greatest hits
-Toby Keith could wrap himself in several American flags and.... wait, there aren't any asses to kick here
-Charlton Heston can send everyone a gun, after all the animals had a sixth sense, so the hunting should be good
-Michael Moore could send all of the food that he seems to have spilled down the front of his sweatshirt

It would be a shame if some of the glitterati missed out on an opportunity for self-promotion and just quietly lent a hand. That's not the American way.